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The waiting-room

The anxiousness, the worries, the question whether or not your next

The cell phones, the panic, the drama becomes more dramatic

The queue tickets, the check-ups, it's too busy to answer questions

The passion, the prescriptions, its incurring words preparing for the worse

The worried parents, the mourning friends, it's someone close mentioned in their prayers

It’s endless patience, its keeping company, it’s the sounds of a flat EKG

It’s covered insurance, it's the restlessness, it's the pace of incoming stretchers

It’s the test results, its bad air-condition, it's too unstable to be serten

It’s the coffee machine, it's the hopelessness, its annoying incompetent nurses

It’s the inevitable, the rescheduled plans, it's all in god’s hands

It’s the graveyard shifts, it's understaffed, it's outside a flag on half mast

It’s the water cooler, it's too crowded, its talk like you're already dead

It’s the routines, it's the muted television, it’s a two-way destination

It’s the customs of hell or heaven

From: Heel over heads EP 2005

Gay

animality dance, alien happiness
and out of the closet
snake pit dancefloor, all ready to commense
topless pride accepted
i was the biggest guy there and i felt small
my orintation causally spoke for itself

non-gay corner, digesting the leasson
bizarre to normal, glad on the behalf
the suppressed of promiscuous succumb
and the bar on the the other side, lacking laugh
only condescending stares in a party all boring
why is hetrosexuallity not gay in itself

it's arcane
it's arcane i thought
but at least i tried to work the math


the the big guy left and went home and wrote this in a swift
like the world gave him homework

Pay up or else

The romanticized apocalypse, the liar’s apostle

shaped the ignorance from the truths playdo

I know 1 thing or 2 being a 3rd person

I understand why but 4 what reason

Total dominance at every possible cost

Those living on credit are the ones who lost

to a one-eyed pyramid mummified mind magnified

Waiting until all conjured pharaohs have died

Crossing my fingers in the cigar cutter

So no point across can be pointed out,

Neutralized troublemaker

So no point across can be pointed out

The tree

I encountered my dad in the shape of tree December 2003

snowflakes thickend my vision likes cocaine raining from heaven

leaning over the pavement nature inflicted it´s agony

The feeling of weight

whit no proper shape

to high ambitions

can put some in coffins

his unselfish deeds

are in need of nourishing needs

like my lungs in symbioses with its functions

like my heart in symbioses with his careness

overloaded with natural causes

searching for possible rescues

misplaced due to weakness

it had thin branches

taller trees stood around unaffected

but this one was the one I respected

I stood mesmerized by the resembles

thinking about my father backproblems

physical metaphor of something I’ve seen before, what could it be

to limited paper to figure out the memory related

powerless to circumstances similar to imagines I had in my memory

you’re unsolved riddle in my hometown

you hustled them on random jetsam

that’s why he hasn’t got official professions

but sometimes you turn joy to afflictions

nosy neighbors making up theories

of how you pull your business

the greatest provider I’ve ever known

the cash he makes he sees little as his own

the situation I observed so often,

claiming every camel’s back is broken

weird sense from trivial scenery

parts of you are still a mystery

tough love or helping hand is the same

showing me the art in how to remain

standing before me personified,

this tree is a piece of you magnified

like sons fathers need attention to so I shook the tree loose from the burden of snow

held it a brief second to exam its’ skinny figure and then released

it rose in an instant and I continued to walk to where ever I planned to go.

written 2004

And I apologize, pt 2

I don’t know how this story will end, from whatever conjuring dispute rose

Friendship is a delicate relation, you never proclaimed anything

Was it more shit on your chest then appeared to your surrounding

Obvious bad self-esteem and yet some books are harder to open then to close

Malice was never my true intention

I remind optimistic and relied on you, still I got surprised every time you’re disappointing

You couldn’t grasp the big world mainly why it got out of hand, Let you off with a warning

You got to accept the justified tantrum

I still consider you as a friend to me.

Defaulted

Now it’s my obligation to ask for apology

Resulted

(2:robin, cancerface 2005)

And I apologize, pt 1

Hence the expression kill my darling, the elusive promises

I kept her happy to my own advantage, words well spent

Overlooked the impact and then I just lost judgment

The player never changes only the game, the dogma is useless

I had home-field advantage, a pawn to my likening

Smart she was her love should be diverted to appreciation

And 4 years from thorough thinking has breached my reason

I discovered the impossible, her void left a marking

To my personal posterity

Defaulted

It’s my obligation to ask for apology

Resulted?

(2:Ellie by Cancerface 2005)